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You ever get that feeling...
Dec. 29th, 2010 10:27 amthat's something's not quite right.
I don't know what or why, but it's been lingering for a while now and I just can't pinpoint it. It's a little unnerving and rather more annoying. Maybe it's cabin fever or the protracted stress of the last few months... I don't know. It's bugging me.
Something else that's bugging me, or more accurately, bugs me from time to time, but has been doing so more recently. I don't know if it's actually been happening more recently or if it's just that it's bothered me more.
People seem to mis-read me an awful lot. I don't know why. Even people who theoretically know me pretty well. It's really a bit offensive sometimes. If it happens at work, which it does when my boss deigns to come in, and I might say something if we've had a particularly irritating or arrogant client and she seems to think I'm being serious. Credit me with some professionalism, please (and it's a bit rich given she's currently managed only 1 day in 5 weeks, though I suppose the holidays have to account for some of that). Similarly, outside of work I might say something purely as a speculative aside and people seem to think I believe it, the fact that they seem to think I do lends the impression they think I'm an idiot. It's really hard not to get annoyed sometimes when I have to keep saying things like 'it's a *joke*', or 'of *course* I'm not going to say that to his face' or even just 'I *know*'. There is an argument for keeping any such jokes or comments to myself, but then I fall into the 'never talks', 'anti-social' and for some reason 'intimidating' trap and it's pretty boring in there.
Do I not, I dunno, adequately emote or something when I say whatever it is I've said? Is there some key body language I'm missing? Is it just that my brain runs on what-ifs pretty much the whole time (great for fic, not so great for panic attacks) and therefore when I verbalise them it comes out less like idle musings or whatever? Or is the problem elsewhere? Are people translating my words through a filter based on flawed assumptions about me? Should I actually bother to correct the verbalised assumptions that I usually just ignore or let slide? I'm hardly a genius, but I'm pretty sure I'm not an idiot either and I may not be the most socially adept, but I do have some grasp of propriety and professionalism.
*sigh* It's just really annoying sometimes and I'm not sure what, if anything, I can do about it. Oh well, back to more entertaining speculation...
I don't know what or why, but it's been lingering for a while now and I just can't pinpoint it. It's a little unnerving and rather more annoying. Maybe it's cabin fever or the protracted stress of the last few months... I don't know. It's bugging me.
Something else that's bugging me, or more accurately, bugs me from time to time, but has been doing so more recently. I don't know if it's actually been happening more recently or if it's just that it's bothered me more.
People seem to mis-read me an awful lot. I don't know why. Even people who theoretically know me pretty well. It's really a bit offensive sometimes. If it happens at work, which it does when my boss deigns to come in, and I might say something if we've had a particularly irritating or arrogant client and she seems to think I'm being serious. Credit me with some professionalism, please (and it's a bit rich given she's currently managed only 1 day in 5 weeks, though I suppose the holidays have to account for some of that). Similarly, outside of work I might say something purely as a speculative aside and people seem to think I believe it, the fact that they seem to think I do lends the impression they think I'm an idiot. It's really hard not to get annoyed sometimes when I have to keep saying things like 'it's a *joke*', or 'of *course* I'm not going to say that to his face' or even just 'I *know*'. There is an argument for keeping any such jokes or comments to myself, but then I fall into the 'never talks', 'anti-social' and for some reason 'intimidating' trap and it's pretty boring in there.
Do I not, I dunno, adequately emote or something when I say whatever it is I've said? Is there some key body language I'm missing? Is it just that my brain runs on what-ifs pretty much the whole time (great for fic, not so great for panic attacks) and therefore when I verbalise them it comes out less like idle musings or whatever? Or is the problem elsewhere? Are people translating my words through a filter based on flawed assumptions about me? Should I actually bother to correct the verbalised assumptions that I usually just ignore or let slide? I'm hardly a genius, but I'm pretty sure I'm not an idiot either and I may not be the most socially adept, but I do have some grasp of propriety and professionalism.
*sigh* It's just really annoying sometimes and I'm not sure what, if anything, I can do about it. Oh well, back to more entertaining speculation...
